Week 4 – Hanoi & Halong Bay

I’m in Vietnam right about now with the fam… it’s a lot. It’s a lot.

Caught a flight on Thursday evening after finding out Oxford have finally realized they don’t want a crazy guy like me merking out their University…I would ridicule them more but I’m still trying to get in on appeal so let’s keep this shizzle on the low-down for now.

The flight was big…me and my mum got a swift upgrade to first class after Asiana Airlines thought they were going to try mess around with our seating arrangements.


Got to Hanoi late the next night and after checking in to our hotel, we went on an exploring/food mission. City was a bit dead-out so late but I loved it already, still.

Let me just break down Hanoi for you – as my step-dad pointed out, the green man on the pedestrian crossings should be horizontal. The only traffic rule in the ‘City for Peace’ is that there are no rules. And there’s a lot of scooters. A lot of scooters. But you know danger is my middle name, and my wheelchair was so sick at traffic dodging. I don’t wait for no green man, the green man waits for me. I’m literally living life in the fast lane out here. I’ll put up a video of these exploits, but, on a level, it’s not for the faint-hearted.

However, it’s not called the ‘City of Peace’ for nothing, and even though the traffic is coming at you quicker than an e-mail (source: Sway), they don’t actually run you over. If I was doing this in London, I would not be writing this.

Also, the people are so safe.

They are so fascinated by my wheelchair out here. And when I say fascinated, I mean the mechanics are getting more attention than Paris Hilton on a night out. But it’s more positive – not like some wastemans in London staring like a lemon (by the way, the lemon juice out here is fresh to death), but just genuine interest. If you smile, which I like to do a lot, you nearly always get a smile back. That’s well nice.

Another thing I did was go on a boat to see Halong Bay. It was the only guided thing we’re going to do (not much choice unless you come with your own water vehicle) but luckily our company took us on a non-touristy route and we met some safe people.

Before I carry on, the views are ridiculous. The whole boat tour is inconceivable. I woke up and thought I was in heaven, or a movie.

Anyway, gotta shout out the American couple we met, Jason and Mary-Alice. They don’t like George Bush so I do like them and they were so funny. Jason tried to bust out a worm in the evening, but ended up doing serious damage. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

And we met a Scottish girl called Katie – she writes sitcoms for the BBC… siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

But the highlight of the boat tour for me was visiting the floating village. It’s a floating village. It was so peaceful and amazing so I decided I want to live there for one or two months. Guys think I’m joking but I’m serious like JME. Chang (our tour guide, she was an absolute legend) said it shouldn’t be too hard to get a visa, and I know I’ve got the socialist credentials. Ho Chi Minh yeah!

I’m back in Hanoi for tonight, and I’ll catch you next week for more adventures.

This is the most humid place I’ve ever been to. I like it.


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